Machinery and metal surround
though one is not perplexed by their intricacies
for a goal is formed and pursued
though one's path to its completion is unknown.
Taking instrument after instrument in hand
the mechanical lobotomy begins
as one unbinds and peels back that metallic skin
and reveals dust and cogs vital for automation.
Transplantation thus follows,
as memory is tested and replaced
and in this surgery on nonsentient entities
the sum of those various parts might grow.
Satisfied with one's work of hands,
that metal carapace is restored
and machinery and metal no longer surround
now that improvements are fully engendered.
Friday, 31 July 2015
Terrence Anathema Transcribes: The Final State
(By Kabir ca. 1420, translated by Vinay Dharwadker)
The ineffable tale
of that final simple state:
it's utterly different.
It can't be weighed on a scale,
can't be whittled down.
It doesn't feel heavy
and doesn't feel light.
It has no rain, no sea,
no sun or shade.
It doesn't contain
creation or destruction.
No life, no death exist in it,
no grief, no joy
Both solitude and blissful union
are absent from it.
It has no up or down
no high or low
It doesn't contain
either night or day.
There's no water, no air,
no fire that flares again and again.
The True Master permeates
everything there.
The Eternal One remains
unmoving, imperceptible, unknowable.
You can attain Him
with the Guru's grace.
The ineffable tale
of that final simple state:
it's utterly different.
It can't be weighed on a scale,
can't be whittled down.
It doesn't feel heavy
and doesn't feel light.
It has no rain, no sea,
no sun or shade.
It doesn't contain
creation or destruction.
No life, no death exist in it,
no grief, no joy
Both solitude and blissful union
are absent from it.
It has no up or down
no high or low
It doesn't contain
either night or day.
There's no water, no air,
no fire that flares again and again.
The True Master permeates
everything there.
The Eternal One remains
unmoving, imperceptible, unknowable.
You can attain Him
with the Guru's grace.
Friday, 24 July 2015
Terrence Anathema Transcribes: Dead Roe Deer
(Taken from the Classic of Poetry, attributed to Confucius ca. 1000-600 B.C.E, translated by Stephen Owen)
A roe deer dead in the meadow,
all wrapped in white rushes.
The maiden's heart was filled with spring,
a gentleman led her astray.
Undergrowth in forest,
dead deer in the meadow,
all wound with white rushes,
a maiden white as marble.
Softly now, and gently, gently,
do not touch my apron, sir,
and don't set the cur to barking.
A roe deer dead in the meadow,
all wrapped in white rushes.
The maiden's heart was filled with spring,
a gentleman led her astray.
Undergrowth in forest,
dead deer in the meadow,
all wound with white rushes,
a maiden white as marble.
Softly now, and gently, gently,
do not touch my apron, sir,
and don't set the cur to barking.
How to Play Dungeons & Dragons Properly
1. Make sure to have every Dungeons & Dragons book
ever written, so that you can pore through
even more irrelevant information than usual
while you look up rules.
2. Have several pencils, because
they will all break after hours of writing changes
in your character’s health.
3. Have a d100 die, because it looks cooler than a d20.
4. Make sure the Dungeon Master doesn’t know
how the game works, as that will make their scenarios
even more entertaining.
5. In order to continue, pass an investigation check.
6. Give your character a really setting-inaccurate name,
such as Punch Johnson IV
or Gronk.
7. Make sure at least one player
has a Paladin for their character,
as Paladins are contractually obligated
to make really hilarious, poor decisions.
8. If there is lightning in the setting,
climb to the tallest point
around while wearing full metal armour
and carrying large metal weapons.
9. Be a gnome.
10. If a friend chastises you for being a nerd,
roll 1d4 in order to determine
the damage of your retaliatory punch.
11. If there are no NPCs named Bradley,
or some variant of that name,
immediately quit the game
and never play with that Dungeon Master again.
12. Or, alternately, immediately change the name
of your character to Bradley,
or some variant of that name.
13. Make sure your character can only speak a
really obscure language, such as Infernal, so that
no one in your party can understand them.
14. If you encounter a vampire,
make sure it sparkles
before trying to fight it.
15. Drink at least five energy drinks before the game,
so that you cannot focus
on anything that happens while you play.
16. After several hours’ play,
find an axe,
and fight the orcs in your yard.
17. If you find a skull in a box, take the skull;
it will become your party’s mascot if you do.
18. If you have a girlfriend or boyfriend
who thinks that D&D is nerdy,
force them to watch you play;
they’ll love it.
19. Fly into hysterical sadness as the character
you so lovingly made and played
is so frustratingly murdered
when the Dungeon Master rolls a natural 20.
20. Consume roughly five pounds of chocolate
before rolling up a new character.
21. If a wizard is trapped inside a sealing circle,
immediately free them, so that your party might enrage them
and get themselves killed.
22. On that point, if you manage to kill
your entire party in this manner,
you are an amazing Dungeons & Dragons player.
23. If you kill your entire party by freeing a wizard, then die
by climbing a tower in the middle of a lightning
storm while wearing full metal armour, then you are
an even more amazing Dungeons & Dragons player.
24. If you are a gnome paladin, named Bradley,
and you kill your entire party
by freeing a wizard, and die
by climbing a tower in full metal armour
in a lightning storm,
then you are the best Dungeons & Dragons player in existence.
25. Once the game is over for the day,
sleep for a week
until the next game starts;
you’ll need the rest after the caffeine wears off.
26. And, above all, don’t forget to brag about
how you killed your entire party
if you manage such a feat.
Writing about it in a satirical Fearblog
is a great way to commemorate such an event.
ever written, so that you can pore through
even more irrelevant information than usual
while you look up rules.
2. Have several pencils, because
they will all break after hours of writing changes
in your character’s health.
3. Have a d100 die, because it looks cooler than a d20.
4. Make sure the Dungeon Master doesn’t know
how the game works, as that will make their scenarios
even more entertaining.
5. In order to continue, pass an investigation check.
6. Give your character a really setting-inaccurate name,
such as Punch Johnson IV
or Gronk.
7. Make sure at least one player
has a Paladin for their character,
as Paladins are contractually obligated
to make really hilarious, poor decisions.
8. If there is lightning in the setting,
climb to the tallest point
around while wearing full metal armour
and carrying large metal weapons.
9. Be a gnome.
10. If a friend chastises you for being a nerd,
roll 1d4 in order to determine
the damage of your retaliatory punch.
11. If there are no NPCs named Bradley,
or some variant of that name,
immediately quit the game
and never play with that Dungeon Master again.
12. Or, alternately, immediately change the name
of your character to Bradley,
or some variant of that name.
13. Make sure your character can only speak a
really obscure language, such as Infernal, so that
no one in your party can understand them.
14. If you encounter a vampire,
make sure it sparkles
before trying to fight it.
15. Drink at least five energy drinks before the game,
so that you cannot focus
on anything that happens while you play.
16. After several hours’ play,
find an axe,
and fight the orcs in your yard.
17. If you find a skull in a box, take the skull;
it will become your party’s mascot if you do.
18. If you have a girlfriend or boyfriend
who thinks that D&D is nerdy,
force them to watch you play;
they’ll love it.
19. Fly into hysterical sadness as the character
you so lovingly made and played
is so frustratingly murdered
when the Dungeon Master rolls a natural 20.
20. Consume roughly five pounds of chocolate
before rolling up a new character.
21. If a wizard is trapped inside a sealing circle,
immediately free them, so that your party might enrage them
and get themselves killed.
22. On that point, if you manage to kill
your entire party in this manner,
you are an amazing Dungeons & Dragons player.
23. If you kill your entire party by freeing a wizard, then die
by climbing a tower in the middle of a lightning
storm while wearing full metal armour, then you are
an even more amazing Dungeons & Dragons player.
24. If you are a gnome paladin, named Bradley,
and you kill your entire party
by freeing a wizard, and die
by climbing a tower in full metal armour
in a lightning storm,
then you are the best Dungeons & Dragons player in existence.
25. Once the game is over for the day,
sleep for a week
until the next game starts;
you’ll need the rest after the caffeine wears off.
26. And, above all, don’t forget to brag about
how you killed your entire party
if you manage such a feat.
Writing about it in a satirical Fearblog
is a great way to commemorate such an event.
Friday, 17 July 2015
Enchanting Adversarial Trance
Pure singing voices overtake my mind
Sweet sensations from depths below
Vexing me to leave the world behind.
Shimmers in my sight of an ethereal kind
Old gods in the sea, no one can know
Pure singing voices overtake my mind.
By newfound lust I've become blind
Paralysed by a maddening, seductive show
Vexing me to leave the world behind.
To her I am naught but a teind
Without individualism black forces goad
Pure singing voices overtake my mind.
Madness to this presence my soul will bind
Vestiges of my sanity sweet words corrode
Vexing me to leave the world behind.
Overt possessing lyrics penetrate my rind
My sweet doom they repetitively bode
Pure singing voices overtake my mind.
Captivating apparitions I've come to find
Suggesting my mind to them I owe
Pure singing voices overtake my mind.
Vexing me to leave the world behind.
Sweet sensations from depths below
Vexing me to leave the world behind.
Shimmers in my sight of an ethereal kind
Old gods in the sea, no one can know
Pure singing voices overtake my mind.
By newfound lust I've become blind
Paralysed by a maddening, seductive show
Vexing me to leave the world behind.
To her I am naught but a teind
Without individualism black forces goad
Pure singing voices overtake my mind.
Madness to this presence my soul will bind
Vestiges of my sanity sweet words corrode
Vexing me to leave the world behind.
Overt possessing lyrics penetrate my rind
My sweet doom they repetitively bode
Pure singing voices overtake my mind.
Captivating apparitions I've come to find
Suggesting my mind to them I owe
Pure singing voices overtake my mind.
Vexing me to leave the world behind.
Monolith of Love
I'm falling into a void,
Drowning in my tears,
For as I see you fade,
After all these blissful years
My heart is torn asunder;
My soul overwhelmed by fears.
And death will not free me;
That spiteful spirit leers
As I'm falling into a void.
Drowning in my tears,
For as I see you fade,
After all these blissful years
My heart is torn asunder;
My soul overwhelmed by fears.
And death will not free me;
That spiteful spirit leers
As I'm falling into a void.
Thursday, 16 July 2015
Into Ruin
What have you ruined?
A miasma of betrayal as sentiments writhe.
Once we drank of innocence,
Childlike and innocent,
But your heart perished.
A hateful morass of memory -
Tears follow rain, follow blood,
Love ground to dust.
In a torrent of sorrow,
I still love you.
A miasma of betrayal as sentiments writhe.
Once we drank of innocence,
Childlike and innocent,
But your heart perished.
A hateful morass of memory -
Tears follow rain, follow blood,
Love ground to dust.
In a torrent of sorrow,
I still love you.
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